My Unhealthy Coworker pt3

Her: I spilled buttermilk on myself!!!!
Me: How on Earth did you spill buttermilk on yourself? It’s only 8am!!
Her: I spilled it while I was driving here
Me: what the hell?? What were you doing while driving??? Making fried chicken??
Her: no… I was eating curly fries
Me: FOR BREAKFAST?!
Her: yea…
Me: so much for that diet. It looks like a jizz stain. You sure it’s just buttermilk?

I solemnly swear I am not making this shit up.