a walking oxymoron

What the fucking fuck

(regarding lunch)

Her: I don’t feel like eating anymore chow mein.

Me: Yea, you practically ate all of it for breakfast.

Her: I don’t feel good.

Me: Well, eating greasy soy sauce msg for breakfast isn’t always good for you.

Her: I feel like being naughty. Wanna go to McDonalds?

Me: HELL NO.

Her: Come on. You don’t want anything?

Me: I didn’t work out at 5am this morning for nothing. Besides, I already have lunch.

Me: are you seriously eating that for breakfast?!!?
Her: yea, what’s wrong with chow mein??
Me: uhhhhh it’s not even 8am. What about your blood pressure?!?
Her: but I really want it *pouts* I was craving it last night. Damn. Now I ate my lunch for today. Oh well. I guess I’ll go out again.
Me: I can’t believe you ate an entire container of chow mein for breakfast.
Her: what’s wrong with that??
Me: nothing. Forget it. You can keep whining about being fat. I’m not even going to bother helping you with your diet when you ask me anymore.
Her: wwhhhyyyyyyy??? *pouts* come onnnn!!

By the way, she thinks she’s pregnant. Fucking wonderful.

I want to shoot myself in the face.

I have this 48 yr old co-worker who is not all mentally there or something. She has Hello Kitty everything.
Hello Kitty headband.
Hello kitty cell phone case.
Hello Kitty keychain.
Hello Kitty LUNCHBOX.

Da fuq?!?

It’s one of the new hires. Let me just put it out there that I have no control over who is hired or fired. Incompetent people are just thrown into my lap and I’m expected to train and mold them into competent employees.

This one is a lost cause.

- she asked how a stapler worked.
- she kept calling out the number zero looking for customer zero. We had to tell her that means there is no one in que. she still didn’t understand what that meant so we said that means we have no customers.
- today she asked how to dial a phone number outside of our area code. I would expect someone at her age who has done clerical work at a law firm previously to know this. No wonder she isn’t there anymore.
- today she was at it again with the number queuing system. She kept pushing the button and calling the number L. We told her there is no number L, this means you need to LOG IN.
- she came back from lunch 10 mins early and tried to work. I wanted her out of my fucking way. We kept telling her she isn’t getting paid for lunch she has to take the full hour. She then told me she was already done with her lunch and has nothing else to do. I should have told her to take a long walk off a short pier.
- just now she wanted to know why the light isn’t lit up on the phone. We said because there are no new voicemails. Then she said “but I wanted to check them. Why aren’t there any voicemails?” because no one has been calling us!!!